WELCOME

Hey guys! Welcome to my blog.

Firstly, i would like to thank you guys for taking the time out to view my page. Initially this was a page purely for my poetry but now i also write about life in general. My passion is in my writing and i don’t claim to be the best writer but it’s what i love. I belive in speaking my truth so i do touch on a lot of personal subjects or things that people around me have been through. In regards to my Poetry, I’ve been writing since i was 10! Some of my poetry may be a bit 18+ so forgive me in advance lol!

                                 Enjoy

P.s Most of the amazing art i use are by an artist called McFreshCreates! Check him out

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He; The Leader?

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Men like the idea of being a Leader and it’s something most guys consider themselves to be. Here’s a definition of a leader that I found and feel correlates “Good leaders don’t wait around for others to guide them. They take the initiative and demonstrate the courage and fortitude to make things happen”.  I feel in this generation there’s a lot of men who are scared/refuse to lead their woman. I personally feel in relationships men are meant to play their role just as much as women are meant to. It’s all good a man wanting a submissive woman but what is she being submissive to? A confused man? A man who has no idea of what he wants from that relationship or has no type of plan for her? A confused man cannot lead in any environment. If you look at most tribes you will see the man is always at the forefront of his family. He is responsible for his woman and child so that’s where leadership comes into play.

I feel it’s very important for a man to be concise in what he wants from the relationship. You can’t expect a woman to stay on the train with you to nowhere. What’s the intended destination? I really don’t understand why anyone would consider getting into a relationship without having some sort of long term plan/vision of where they want that relationship to go. I hear you screaming “But he may not want those things with that particular woman” and that’s fine but he must tell her that. As cliché as it sounds, honesty is in fact the best policy. The reason why I say this is because 9/10 a woman knows exactly what she wants and this is often expressed one way or the other. Whether that be marriage, a child, buying a house together etc. But these things won’t manifest unless the man also shares the same vision. I just feel like everyone’s time should be valued and respected, especially if that woman has made it clear about what she wants. If deep down you’re uncertain or can’t picture yourself giving her what she wants then don’t be selfish. At least be truthful and give that woman the option to decide what she wants to do with the next few years of her life. Don’t have her naively sitting around holding onto your empty promises. As much as we have a new era of beautiful, strong minded, independent women, I can guarantee you most of them just want a man who can match their ambition and hunger for the traditional family set up. Instead so many women are caught up in “entanglements”, situation-ships or in stagnant settings simply because their partner doesn’t have the capacity to sustain a fruitful long term relationship with a ultimate goal.

Lastly, I will say to the women reading this, don’t give up on that fairy tale that you’ve always dreamt of. You deserve it. You’ve never been the type to settle – Keep not settling.

 

 

 

 

Reserving Peace

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Staying away from people who bring you out of your peace is vital. These people can lead you to situations that could of easily been avoided if you just get from round them. You hold onto these people for numerous reasons and the main reason is because you have history with them. You’ve allowed them to get away with so much – more then what you’d usually put up with. But when you keep allowing someone to disrespect you, you’re actually disrespecting yourself.

After a while there’s a certain feeling you start to get when your in communtication or around these people. Don’t confuse that feeling with just being uncomfortable, there’s more to it. It’s your spirit trying to protect you from them. When your frequency is high, you feel it. It doesn’t mean that their a bad person, it just means their not meant to be around YOU.

As stated in one of my previous blog posts, cutting people off should be the last option. But when you’ve given someone countless of chances, your doing yourself more harm then good.

Protect yourself at all costs. You can’t be responsible for how someone makes you feel, but you are responsible for giving them access to your feelings. Know what’s best for you always. It’s sad when you have to distance yourself from people you care about but I strongly believe there’s people that have been sent for moments in your life. Not everyone was sent to be in your life forever. And holding onto to these people means your not making space for new people your meant to meet. Embrace the change. You’ll feel a lot lighter.

Remember this:

The Best people for you bring out the Best in you.

 

Worthy

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It’s funny because sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. The truth can literally be staring at us in our faces and we act so oblivious to it. We’ve all had experiences of liking someone more then they actually liked us. And we would do ANYTHING just to try and get that person to like us back equally.

A lot of females are notorious for doing this. Falling so hard for a guy who has no intention of making her his girlfriend. She would convince herself (and her friends) that he will eventually see her worth. She’s already cooking for him, giving him the best sex, buying him shit, giving all her free time to him – All without actually being his girlfriend yet. All of this just to win him over. But fact is, most guys know within a month (give or take) whether they want to make a girl his girlfriend and HE would be the one pulling out all the stocks to make sure he secures her. Some females won’t accept this and think if they keep going, he will all of a sudden change his mind. To be honest, if months and months pass and he hasn’t mentioned taking it further or making moves towards it, 9/10 he doesn’t plan to.

To save your TIME and ENERGY, you have to be clear on what you want for yourself. You can’t keep giving a person so much of you and recieving so little back. You’re not being fair to yourself. You have to be honest with yourself and say “Ok, he’s not calling unless i call him; We’re only seeing eachother on his terms; He’s being inconsistent and hasn’t shown any signs of progressing with me” Let that digest and then fall back. You have to know who’s worth getting so much of you and don’t become just a plaything. So many women do so much for men who have no real intention of being with them and eventually it can ruin that womans confidence. People will only treat you how you allow them to treat you.

Why settle for less when you can have more?

 

Ready for Bae?

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To all my Beautiful Single Ladies – I don’t claim to be an expert and i don’t know everything in the slightest so don’t shoot me please lol. I’m not married YET so i also have a lot to learn myself.  But I’ve noticed a lot of girls stress about being in relationships more then guys do. We as women can sometimes obsess with the idea of being with someone or falling in love. Some women can feel incomplete untill they meet someone! However – you need to be a complete person before you can give your all to someone. We can often walk around already broken whilst looking for someone to mend us. Fact is – that’s not their Job, it’s ours. We can’t be expecting to find this ‘Perfect Person’ if we haven’t pieced our own-selves together first. This is very important.

Also Love is never selfish. If on your journey to finding love & you’re always putting out what YOU want, instead of what YOU can offer someone… this is partially selfish. Love is a 2 way thing. You want someone who’s Spiritual, Earning a good Salary, No Children, Generous, Handsome, Tall, Funny, Fit, Drives ect ect (the list goes on). But you also MUST list what you can offer someone. You must equally be able to offer the same amount of things that you want. YOU ARE WHAT YOU ATTRACT.

Again – Love is not Selfish. We can sit here and demand all of these things but its important that we know what we can offer too.

Another thing is – Attitude. Fact is saying that someone isn’t ‘Good enough” can be hurtful. Even if you dont directly say it to them. Remember not everyone is FOR YOU. They are good enough for someone else. And if you come accross this type of person, handle the situation gracefully. Being rude or disrespectful to someone who’s just trying to get to know you, wont make them look bad. It will make you look bad. You don’t need to carry this attitude that “No man’s good enough for me” because eventually that will be your reality.

Attraction – fair enough if you’re not initially attracted to someone and you can’t look past it.  But I’ll tell you this, So many people i know (including me) have ended up in long term relationships with people they weren’t initially attracted to. Don’t shut the doors straight away because of this. Once you really feel ready give one of these guys (who aren’t your inital type) a chance. You never know what could happen.

Sis – you will fall in Love, Get married (if that’s what you want) and have babies. Just try a new approach.

Can’t wait to see more engagements, weddings, pregnancies for us all! Goodluck Ladies ❤

Pride.

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The Best thing about Growth, is the lessons learned along the way. And one of the most important lessons to be learned is accepting our own wrong doings.

If you’re one of those people who will always point their finger and blame the whole entire world before blaming themselves- it’s time to look inside of you. I’ve been there before – if I fell out with someone I was QUICK to blame the other person.
It’s so much easier to do that.

However, this isn’t you learning from these situations. This is pure stubbornness, ignorance and immaturity – as much as that’s a hard pill to swallow it’s exactly what it is. If you could look at a situation and know you could of handled it better but still refused to apologise or rectify it, this is called being “Wrong & Strong”. Pride is a wonderful yet damaging thing. Too much of it will aid you in losing some real ones around you. You have to understand your not always going to be right in every situation. Owning up to your wrong doings, apologising and moving forward is so much more fulfilling (for both parties) then cutting everyone off due to “pride”.

Our generation is so fixated with this concept of “cutting people off”. It shouldn’t be idolised or praised. No relationship whether that be with a friend/relative/partner will ever be perfect. It takes time, patience, communication and understanding.

Don’t run for the scissors!

Please don’t always run for the scissors ✂️ – try looking at the situation from the other persons perspective, see if you could of done better and make it better.

 

That Bitch Anxiety.

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Yes, Anxiety is a Bitch. She comes around when you least expect it, reminding you how superior she is over your mind & making you feel completely helpless. The first time she appeared in my life, i thought she was trying to kill me. She came in the form of a panic/anxiety attack and left me so scared i couldn’t sleep for a week straight. It was a cycle of being scared i was going to have another panic attack, which made me have more anxiety. The most basic things became such a challenge – even to go to the corner shop became a scary task. I thought “Wow is this my life now? How did this happen? How did i get here?”
I just wanted to be normal again – going out and enjoying life. I’d scroll on instagram seeing people having the time of their lives and I’d be behind my four walls wishing it was me.

I decided to do something about it. Time was passing me by and i was too much of an adventurous person to allow her to take control of me. So i decided to seek help and managed to get a better understanding of what i was dealing with. See Anxiety happens when there’s too much adrenaline pumping around your body and this forces you to go into ‘Flight or Fight’ mode. This is why you can sometimes feel that overwhelming feeling of fear, sweaty palms, heart racing and dread. Your body is trying to decide it’s next move! So to distract your body from the anxiety you can try and release some of the adrenaline. Here’s some things i found helpful:

– Going for a walk
– Doing a quick exercise
– Listening to music
– Reading a book
– Watching something funny
– Drinking a lot of water
– Blowing bubbles through a straw into a glass of water (i know it sounds strange but it actually worked lol)

You just have to find what works for you! Also be very mindful of stress – take time out of your day just to release any stress built up. This could be by meditation or just sitting peacefully in your room with your candles lit.
Also do your own research on it – you will find some things in your diet could be making it worse! Caffeine being one of them. I was a every day coffee drinker and i had to lessen my consumption which helped tremendously.

TALK to someone! Whether that be a friend or a professional. Don’t feel like a weirdo – anxiety is more common then you think. People tend to keep these things to themselves and end up suffering in silence. Not everyone’s anxiety will go away – it’s just knowing how to deal with that Bitch when she decides to pay you a visit. It gets easier with time. Be patient with yourself and don’t let her control your life!

You’re not helpless and you’re not alone!

 

Happy in the Now

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Those day’s where you don’t feel good enough because you’re constantly comparing yourself to others. They have better jobs, better cars, more money and go on more holidays than you do. They “seem” to be living a better life than you. However – people will only show you what they want you to see. Do not discredit your own hard work just because someone else seems “better off” than you.

Striving for better is something we should always do, however there will always be a higher stage we can reach – always! So if you’re placing your overall happiness on that one goal, stop – because there’s always going to be new and higher goals that you will want to achieve. Therefore – be happy in the now. Be happy that you’re working towards your goals. If you keep the idea that your happiness is somewhere else, you will never be happy in the now. Sit back and see how far you’ve already come. Pat yourself on the back – it’s ok to congratulate yourself for the small successes.

Stop comparing yourself to others and watching what their doing. Imagine yourself in a race – if you kept looking over at the other opponents you will either lose sight of the finish line or trip up! Stay in your own lane, stay focused and don’t worry about what others are doing. The only person you should be in competition with is the person you was yesterday – nobody else.

Your Happiness is here – right now – with you.

 

 

 

 

 

Heartbreak Island

PhotoGrid_1510015998518.jpgYour heart feels like it’s sunken, everything seems to remind you of him; a song, an advert and even a fragrance.  You cannot seem to shake him from your thoughts.  You’re going out trying to spark your social life again after neglecting it for so long.  You’re in this pattern of “Ok, i can do this, i can move on and it’s easy!” yet in a split second “I really can’t do this without him, i need him!”  It’s a battle between your heart and your mind,  you’ve played past scenarios over and over again in your head wondering, if you did things differently would you be here feeling so heartbroken?  Whatever the reason for the break up, it was inevitable. Whether the reason being you / him or mutual – it was always going to end up at this point. 

Learn to accept the fact that whatever is meant to be, will be. What’s meant for you, will never pass you – ever! Finding that trust in the Universe / God (whichever works for you) can honesty carry you through.  Taking a moment to appreciate that at this very moment these feelings are temporary and your forever hasn’t arrived yet. Your desires, wants and needs still remain and with that being said, they will always be fulfilled.  Be patient with yourself – just because he seems to be moving on so quickly, doesn’t mean you should rush. Ride through the emotions you’re feeling – All those crying sessions do more good than anything. You may feel incredibly weak right now but see this as a work out to get you stronger.

A relationship ending can feel like a grieving process, especially if it was a long term relationship.

 

Maybe you’re contemplating a new romance, as being alone is too scary – but be careful not to jump into something without really dealing with how you’re feeling first, a grief stricken mate, is not a healthy one. When you honestly feel ready, go on a few dates! You will more than likely compare your new love interest to your ex, which will make it quite difficult at first but always go in with an open mind. No one will be exactly like your ex and maybe that’s a good thing! There’s more likely to be someone else who is more suited for you (believe it or not).

 

Whether it takes you 1 month or 6 months, you will get there!

 

Ride through this ugly period – but remember your glow up is going to be amazing. This is just a bump in the road on your journey to a beautiful destination.

Solace

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For many days, i prayed that this day wouldn’t come.

I would be on my knees, like Father please, don’t take him from me.

Now I’m here single, not ready to mingle, I have no spark for me to kindle.

I’m trying to move on, trying to be strong but I’ve dreaded this for far too long.

Scared of being alone, no one to phone,   complete solace who would have known.

That I’d be here, with too much care, a broken heart and a blank stare.

Trying to love myself, applying self help with the storm inside of me that i wish i never felt.

“It’s Ok” I say. Even though i prayed, God taught me a lesson that i appreciate.

What’s meant for you, will not pass you and allow that to carry you through.

One step at a time, your light will always Shine. Alone or not you will be just fine.

 

 

Kinging

PhotoGrid_1502317995626My King found me like he promised he would in my dreams.

He came unscathed as i was also his first love.

Warmth overwhelmed my cold heart as he smiled.

Enough warmth to melt all the anxiety i felt towards love.

I melted into his arms – blissfully falling for his charm

Thanking the higher powers for sending me this – Almighty – dream come true.